Stewardship of Self, part One

    Its absolutely amazing what a change of perspective can do.

    Last week my kids and I took just a few minutes to rearrange my bedroom.  It wasn't even a massive undertaking.  The only things we moved were the bed and the end tables beside the bed- but even such a small shift made a huge difference!

    Before the bed was situated between the two windows.  This did block the light a little and made it impossible to open the blinds on both sides.  I decided I needed more light, so we decided to move it.  It is wonderful how much light streams in the window, and how much brighter and more refreshing our bedroom feels.  We didn't paint anything.  We didn't even buy anything new for the room, or knock out any walls.  It was a simple, easy change of persepctive that absolutely changed everything.  

   That is what happened to me two months ago.

   At the beginning August my family and I took a much needed 3 day mini vacation.  Callie would be starting college fulltime and we knew that we wouldn't be able to travel much with her while she was in school.  Sawyer was starting flag football and since it is an Upward program hosted by our church, we knew that was something that would include our whole family, volunteering and showing up to help twice a week or more for a few weeks.  Then it would be the holidays- so we booked one night at Carolina beach and two nights at White Lake.  

   Our trip was perfection.  We visited Carolina Beach State park and Hudson got to see and get a video of the Painted Bunting.  My son is an avid bird watcher, and has been wanting to see this bird in person for two years, and sure enough, he came to visit the feeder while we were watching!   We visited Holden beach, which is where my youngest son got to ride on his first ever waterslide lol.  I'm not sure how we've lived so close to water for most of his life and he hasn't been to a waterslide, but this one was fantastic.  We also loved the Christian retreat at White lake, and of course, all of the ice cream places we visited.  It was wonderful!

   

But there's always something about the beach that makes me want to better myself.

   Its not an issue of vanity- but an issue of health.  As we walked on the beach I became insanely tired.  My family were having the best time, but I was really crashing fast.  I told Stephen we would have to turn around, that I didn't feel like I could keep going.  He was agreeable, but I felt really sad.  As usual, I wanted to be able to be more active, to keep up better.  To breathe and just feel better.  

   It was that night on the beach as I drug my tired legs to try and keep up with my sweet, athletic family, that I decided enough was enough.  I had some health issues I had been ignoring for years.  I was still eating as if I was a healthy teenager, but I felt like I was much older than my 42 years.  I promised myself that when I got home, I would learn to care for myself, and next year- I would keep up.

   I changed my perspective.  I've been a stay-at-home Mom for almost 20 years now.  I have homeschooled all four of our children and graduated my daughters.  I am so incredibly proud of every part of my life and the way I have lived it.  I have supported my husband in fulltime ministry for 10 years now, and worked hard to create a home that is a place for him to rest and reprive.  I have lived and poured out my life for these amazing people that God has so graciously given me stewardship of.

   But I've lacked desperately at being a good steward of my own life.

   Ouch.  

  I don't remember where I heard it, but somewhere I heard the quote, Self care is Stewardship, not selfishness and that hit me hard.  That is so very true.  I've never been on an airpalne, but I've seen enough movies to know that if there is danger, before you help anyone else you must secure your oxygen mask first.  I haven't lived that.  I've been struggling to help everyone else, and "sacrificially" ignored myself.  

   I don't think that's ever been Gods plan for any of us, but how often do we fall into that? How often do we put ourselves on the backburner to make sure everyone else's needs were met?  That night on the beach it was very clear to me that if I was going to continue to be a good steward of my family, I had to start by learning to be a good steward of my own health.

   Visit me tomorrow and I'll share the rest of the story :)

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